[ It's been such a long time that Huaisang had a time where he was actually honest about himself to somebody else. He had spent a decade wearing a mask to basically almost everyone he had met with, and he'd never dare to tell anyone what he was really thinking at any given time. Why would he when the world had proven to him that people just existed to be duplicitous vipers who'd snap at you at the first chance they'd get?
Even in the end, when he got what he wanted, it'd seem that wouldn't change. Deep down, however, he had never felt all that satisfied. No matter how much he desired for it to be so, he couldn't bring his brother back. He wasn't able to have Jin Guangyao's actions reversed, and be able to stop it in time. He wasn't able to be true to one of the few friends he had, Wei Wuxian...
Those vivid and horrid nightmares last week reminded him of that fact and that he was weak, unlikely to get through any of this no matter how clever he had been before, and afraid WWX wouldn't either. Until he cracked open without even planning to at seeing the other offer himself so readily.
He's looking a little surprised when his tears were wiped away and the other was smiling softly, saying those things. He couldn't even say anything in return, not just yet, and when the other man hugged him, he returned it, burying his head into the other's chest, just now letting out quiet sobs.
But he managed to speak, hiccuping in between. ]
G-good...y-you better remember you said that to me...b-because I won't forget. D-do you get understand, W-Wei-xiong? I won't let you forget what you said anytime soon...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2021-06-18 07:05 pm (UTC)Even in the end, when he got what he wanted, it'd seem that wouldn't change. Deep down, however, he had never felt all that satisfied. No matter how much he desired for it to be so, he couldn't bring his brother back. He wasn't able to have Jin Guangyao's actions reversed, and be able to stop it in time. He wasn't able to be true to one of the few friends he had, Wei Wuxian...
Those vivid and horrid nightmares last week reminded him of that fact and that he was weak, unlikely to get through any of this no matter how clever he had been before, and afraid WWX wouldn't either. Until he cracked open without even planning to at seeing the other offer himself so readily.
He's looking a little surprised when his tears were wiped away and the other was smiling softly, saying those things. He couldn't even say anything in return, not just yet, and when the other man hugged him, he returned it, burying his head into the other's chest, just now letting out quiet sobs.
But he managed to speak, hiccuping in between. ]
G-good...y-you better remember you said that to me...b-because I won't forget. D-do you get understand, W-Wei-xiong? I won't let you forget what you said anytime soon...